The Best Advice I’ve Ever Received

I've received a lot of advice during my time here on Earth, and I come from a family that deeply believes in seeking counsel from your elders. I've heard and forgotten much of this advice, but two pieces of advice stick with me to this day, which I will cover in this blog post.

The first bit of advice was given to me by my father at a particularly rough and painful time in my life. At the time, I never thought things would turn around for the better, and I was stuck in an unhealthy, maladaptive mindset. At this low moment, when something terrible happened that I never thought would happen, my Dad told me:

"This does not define you."

I realize that seems overly simplistic, but I clung to those words and have thought about them for years, often passing them on to other people when they, too, suffered in life. My Dad was saying that the situation and circumstances of that time were not something I had to identify with wholly. This statement is powerful. Imagine a state where you can live through some awful moments in life but don't have to identify with them because they are not you personally. They are just moments in your life that will inevitably pass. These bad times are not who you are. You ultimately decide who you will be at every moment, no matter the situation. Nothing but yourself can define you, and that is a powerful understanding.

The second piece of advice I often retell myself and others comes from my former Psychologist. As someone who loves to please people, especially when I was younger, I took rejection hard. My therapist told me:

"Rejection is God's protection."

Think about that for a moment. Remember this phrase if someone rejects you or a situation doesn't turn out how you wanted it to. You don't have to believe in God to understand how this advice works. Every rejection provides you protection from something terrible that could happen. So you can be happy when things don't go your way, or someone rejects you. It means something better is on its way to your life. Your desired situation or person is not meant for you. You're better off avoiding those things and people entirely. I know we like to reach our personal goals, but "rejection is God's protection" reminds me that our selfish plans may not match the universe's plan. We should trust that we are being guided in life by our successes, failures, and rejections. We must understand that we will get where we are supposed to be no matter what happens to us on the way.